Boobs and Potatoes

So Chris just recapped our first two months of traveling in the post below, and I guess I’ll recap what I’ve learned after seven days of Spanish courses. We go for three hours a day, Monday through Friday, and we’re into our second week. So far, I’ve logged 18 hours of classroom time and about 10 hours of studying at home. And this is what I’ve got:

culo: in most Spanish speaking countries this is the word for butt, but in Chile it is the derogatory/naughty word for butt. Use with caution.

Past tense:
Verb tenses made me hate Spanish and eventually quit it in high school. Learning it again isn’t helping me attain any new affection for this nonsense. Once upon a time in English class, I learned what the perfect preterit, indefinite preterit, and imperfect preterit were, but those days are long gone. Calling it preterito perfecto, preterito indefinido, preterito imperfecto, and preterito pluscuamperfecto (I swear to God, I am not making that last word up) does not help me learn it any better, no matter what the language is.

Chilenismos are dumb:
Chilenismos are little slang words that are only used in Chile. People here have a tendency to talk really really fast and then they throw in all these weird words that don’t exist anywhere else. Or they decide to conjugate verbs in a completely different way. It gets confusing. But I must say that I like one Chilenismo that describes ugly shoes worn around the house: chancletas.
Pronounced CHAN-KLE-TAS – it’s a good onomatopoeia; even if you have no idea what it means, looking at someone’s shoes and saying, “chancleta” gets the point across. The word just sounds bitchy. I would like sassy black girls in the states to start using that word immediately.

Putting the wrong emPHAsis on the wrong syLABle:
OK, so you have the words ‘mama’ and ‘papa’. I’m sure you’re like, “Duh. I know what those words mean.” But, you also have mama’ and papa’… please excuse my English keyboard, those are supposed to be accents over the last A’s. So when the accent is there, you pronounce it maMA and paPA. MaMA and paPA mean mother and father, while plain mama and papa mean breast and potato, respectively. So look out for that one.

It’s funny when your Spanish teachers don’t speak English and try to pronounce English words:
In our class, the Spanish language is butchered and raped approximately every five seconds by us students, so when our non-English speaking teachers try out an English word, it can be a nice entertaining break. My afternoon teacher Claudia always has issues with the word ‘corner’. She cannot say it. It always comes out, “Ka, ka, kaaarner?” It’s great.

I also like how everyone here calls Chris “Kareese” or simply “Kreese”. In El Bolson, the woman that ran our hostel called Chris, “Meesta Kreese”. Feel free to use that when he returns home.

So yes, I’m learning things. My Spanish has improved to the point where I can read it better and understand it a bit better. I still speak like a four year old with a massive head injury, but these are things that can be improved.

I am going to make dinner now… wait, Yo voy a hacer la cena ahora. YESSSSS!!!!!!!