My Sweet Bunda

From the book How to Be a Carioca: the Alternative Guide for the Tourist in Rio by Priscilla Ann Goslin;

“Bunda [‘boon dah]: derriere.”

Bunda is my new favorite word I have learned this week in Rio. I like the way it sounds: booooooooondah! It’s fun.

Everyone is all about the bunda in Rio. Little tiny flat bottoms are not in style here and I don’t think they’ve been in style for centuries, so all of the ladies are pretty much guaranteed an ample behind. But being given an ample behind is no excuse to have a big fat behind. I think these ladies must be queens of the squat, the lunge, and the leg press. The result is an army of firm, round, bouncy bottoms bounding through the beach contained usually by a small bit of Lycra shoved in the crack. But don’t get me wrong, not all butts are worthy of the bunda title, there are still plenty that are simply fat and flabby and chunky… and still crammed into the tiny Lycra bottoms. [shudder]

Bunda can only be used to compliment a bottom, so you can never say;
“Ew! Look at the size of that bunda! There’s hail damage!”

But you can say;
“Look at that juicy bunda!”

With the full on love affair in Rio for all things American, combined with dirt cheap plastic surgery, the bundas are now accompanied by big, round silicone boobies. It’s like you get the bunda coming and going. And the way these girls walk and ooze their sex all over the place, is amazing. While Chris was waiting for my plane in the airport, he had plenty of time to be greeted by bouncing bits. He later asked me, “How do they walk and bounce like that all the time?” I told him with years of practice. He then asked me if Sir Mix-A-Lot ever visited Rio. I told him that I hoped so.

I think the word bunda needs to be embraced on an international level and I encourage everyone to start using it on a regular basis. I want it to go global and the best way to get a word to the masses is to give it to an American rapper/hip hopper to use. Plus I think the word bunda would lend itself nicely to a club song, especially combined with the thump thump of some bass and thrown together with some spiced up salsa. So to the Will.I.Ams, Wycelfs, and annoying Sean Kingstons of the world, I ask you to get on board the bunda bus and spread it worldwide. And give me a cut of the royalties.