Visa Run to Kuala Lumpur, Part Two: The Weekend

The only thing I knew about Kuala Lumpur before I decided to go there was that it was home to the Petronas Towers. When they opened, so long ago in a prior millennium, they were the tallest in the world. Before I left Koh Tao, I read about the Batu Caves just outside of KL. It’s a Hindu shrine and tourist stop with monkeys. I had two days in the city before heading back to Thailand and two things I had planned to do. I did neither of these things.

 On the way into the city I saw a sign with the Starbucks logo that said PanduLalu. So I thought that Starbucks is called PanduLalu (Pan-Do-La-Loo) there. Say it. It's fun. PanduLalu. PanduLalu. PanduLalu. The fact that this made me happy signified one of two possibilities. 1.  The 26 hour boat and bus ride had not broken my spirit. 2. The 26 hour boat and bus ride had broken my mind and I was now as easily amused as a slack-jawed yokel. Either way, I had a smile on my face and was looking forward to the weekend ahead. It turns out "Pandu Lalu" means “Drive Through”, but I’m going to stick with Starbucks for now. Most of you tell your kids Santa Claus is real, so don't judge me for knowingly spreading false information.

Upon arrival at the bus station I hopped off with my day pack, my only luggage for a five day trip. I'm finally starting to get the hang of packing. Long ago I figured out how to deal with shady taxi drivers, but this new breed I've witnessed only in KL were stubborn. After about 10 drivers refused to take me to my hotel based on the meter, even though the side of their cars clearly stated they were required to use it, I was getting frustrated. Apparently most of these guys would rather sit around in hopes of a sucker, then make a quick fare. I finally flagged down a driver that would run the meter, but he had no idea of where the place was that I wanted to go. At first I thought he was just trying to run up the cost by taking me for a ride. My hotel was in one of the biggest tourist areas in the city. He genuinely didn't know, called my hotel, got directions and took me there for less than a third of what the others wanted. To spite the other drivers, I doubled the fare with his tip just for not being an asshole.

It was pushing midnight by the time I got out to look for some food. Not feeling very optimistic, I ventured over to Jalan Alor to find a host of 24/7 street food vendors and small restaurants.

Best Vietnamese food I've had in a while. Only Vietnamese food I've had in a while. A huge score.

The next day I wandered towards the Petronas Towers and stopped at an Irish pub for lunch. While there I watched an entire rugby match for probably the first time in my life. Seeing the All Blacks pound the Wallabies was interesting, but it still isn't really my thing. Maybe if I understood the rules better. Anyway, when I got to the Towers, they had stopped selling tickets for the day and told me to come back tomorrow before one. So I just wandered around eating, drinking, and people watching. I had more Vietnamese food for dinner, (the same order at the same restaurant). Then I wandered into a shady looking bar off some side street that reminded me a little bit of Creekside and a little bit of that place in "From Dusk til Dawn". After deciding I was not going to be accosted by a Salma Hayek looking vampire, I left through a back door staircase that lead to the stock room of the 7-11 above the bar and out to a street near my hotel.

My second and last day in Kuala Lumpur I had planned to go to the Towers and then check out the park next to them. I got there an hour and a half earlier than the lady told me to the day before, but they had once again already sold out. So I walked through the mall inside that had every overpriced store you can think of like Gucci, Tiffany's, Louis Vuitton, Starbucks...all of em. I felt like just being there was going to cause the money in my wallet to vaporize.  I headed for the park and then quickly decided to find another indoor activity (nap back at the hotel) due to the inappropriateness of the heat / humidity combo going on outside.

Not wanting to break the streak, I had Vietnamese food again for dinner. This time at a different location that happened to have a fashion show going on next to it.

That's all I can show you of Kuala Lumpur Fashion Week 2015, as I promised the ladies I wouldn't publish the pictures from the after party. It got pretty wild. Maybe you can catch a glimpse on TMZ.

I do have some more pictures and anecdotes from my hotel and the city, though.

Durian is a fruit that some people find so obnoxiously stinky that many hotels have banned it. I'm not sure what mangosteen is. I think maybe my hotel was just anti-semitic.

Here are some photos from my hotel room contrasting the rich and poor.It reminds me of Elysium.

If we could only find a way to stop balance out the wealth gap, perhaps people wouldn't resort to stealing snatches.

Overall I thought KL was a great city. It was clean, had lots of good food, good nightlife, was super cheap, and outside of the bulk of the taxi drivers I dealt with on the first night, the people were friendly and helpful.